Perspectives

The other day on the radio there was a give-away to a single mom in KC. Thousands had written letters in nominating either a friend or themselves. All the letters were read and this mom was chosen - They called her, read her letter over the air, and announced her prizes. The thought of this in itself tugs at the heart strings with the reminder of how many kids are in broken homes and how many parents are trying to do Christmas by themselves. The details of this woman's story, however, is really what got me. She has 5 kids, no father but biologically, she was working 2 jobs but lost one of them. She and her family had been hopeless for a year and she'd finally saved up enough to get a small trailer for them. Her mini-van was on its very very last leg and she was afraid she wouldn't be able to get to a second job. She'd gotten each of her children one Christmas present, $10 or less, and when she tried explaining to her daughters that it wouldn't be like other Christmases, one told her 'It's ok Mommy' - She thought for sure Santa Claus would come through for them. This mom won a new mini-van filled with toys, a $100 gift card to a local grocery store and a weekend stay at this great resort we have for kids-It's like 80 degrees in there all year round with a water-park inside haha It seems 'Santa Claus' came through.

I was on my way to work when I heard this story and got to thinking... We all know factually that there are so many families less fortunate than we are but do we really know? We live comfortably in our safe zone of 'knowledge' without really handling the issue at all. There are military families who have been separated for nearly every major holiday in the past 5 years. There are families who are literally living pay check to pay check with near bare shelves in-between. There are little kids who are asking Santa for food and a job for daddy. We're preoccupied with paying for our taxes and other bills but bottom line we don't have to be afraid we're going to lose our house, we don't have to decide to not eat so our kids can, and we have a warm dry place to sleep, to live. It is far too easy to forget the blessings we have each day and how much we have to be thankful for - This may sound like more of a Thanksgiving post but I think the Christmas season may bring the thankful spirit out more, maybe that's just me. I think it's really just another reminder of how we forget what this season is supposed to focus on-Jesus came from the highest place, becoming one of us, just another lowly human being, raised in a meager home, spending his days serving others, eating and staying with those viewed as the lowest on the totem pole. I think we often view those less fortunate as being below us somehow, whether a conscious thought or not, all the while celebrating the birth of our Savior who lived his life among those less fortunate. A bit of irony in my opinion.

I think many of us have these little 'revelations' at holiday time - If only we'd have these revelations on a consistent basis throughout the year. How much of a difference would the right perspective make on a year-round-basis?

Reason for the Season?

We all know Christmas has become a commercialized, excuse for a party and eating more food, and the opportunity for kids and grown-ups alike to get all their 'wants' on sale. As you grow up the excitement of presents on that morning fades a bit and we develop new perspectives. Don't get me wrong, presents are always exciting, especially when they're what you actually wanted. However is this really the goal for the day? In a conversation regarding Christmas plans with someone the other day, it was mentioned part of her family would be having Christmas dinner 2 weeks early. During the conversation, though, she remarked that she didn't know what the point was in getting together anyway because no one buys presents anymore, at least not for anyone but the youngest child in the family... So there's no point in getting together if there's no presents? That made me so sad. I admit as a kid the presents were always pretty cool and my parents were great in what they provided my brother and myself. A few specific presents stick out in my mind as being 'super cool' but what do I remember most? I remember reading the Christmas story every year and as I got older it was my turn to try to pronounce all those hard names myself. haha I remember time with my parents and brother eating breakfast and watching the parade. And I remember being SO excited to go to my god-parents for dinner.

I think there are always more thing we can do in order to not lose sight of the 'true reason for the season' (a saying which itself is over-used) and these are very personal choices. I do feel as though I grew up with the perspective of Christmas being a time to be thankful, joyful, and celebrate with family the blessings of our Lord and take a sometimes too rare opportunity to fellowship with other believers. As an adult I am trying to re-evaluate and determine which of these perspectives may not be in the right direction or what area I may need to add more focus in order to ensure I myself do not get lost in what becomes holiday chaos. I'll let you know how that goes...

Life is a Blur

The semester is nearing an end and I still have a presentation and 2 or 3 tests left in my micro class, 2 assignments and 2 major tests in patho left to survive. I know I will - mostly because I have no other choice ha I am ready for a break though. I started working at Macy's seasonally for some extra money for those lovely end of the year tax bills. Fortunately it's very close to our house so I don't spend a lot of extra time driving like my husband has to spend driving to Independence. I'm gradually getting some look into his world of retail and I honestly don't know how he's done it for 3 years! I highly doubt I would have lasted that long. Not that's bad but I just don't see doing it full time for so long. My 2ish days a week are just fine with me! :o) Things have finally picked up at work for Jon though which is such a blessing. He'll be working mostly 6 days a week now as they've entered the 'fourth quater' with holidays and such. Sales have been so much more profitable lately and I suppose it's perfect timing - we got our tax bill last night so we have approxmately 6 weeks to pay down a large bill without incuring late fees and such. I know God will provide - we just have to maintain discipline to not buy all the things we see along the way haha It's so hard to believe the holidays are upon us...

$$ saver

I heard an interview with one of the creator's of this site the other day on the way to work. 2 friends who are wives and mothers trying to find ways to cut their budgets in today's economy. Ironically they actually started this process before everything went down the tubes. They are bringing their 1-2 years of research to a public website to help others. Lots of suggestions and links to coupons and such to help. I haven't explored the site fully but what I've read and seen I think it will be pretty nifty - especially for those with kids!

http://www.becentsable.net/

So so busy...

I think I will be glad when October is over - Last week was missions conference week at church and while it is an amazing opportunity to connect with our missionaries and very inspiring, it's very tiring! Either at church or at school every night last week, including the weekend. This week I have 2 tests, a cold, and Trunk or Treat on Friday (but set up Thursday) and since I helped plan Friday nights festivities I have to be there with bells on haha I do get to dress up as Glenda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz, so that's a bonus :o)

This weekend I MUST catch up-on life! Laundry, at the very least... Study for my midterm and another micro test... I have orientation and training next week for the 2nd job I'm taking on - Macy's for seasonal hours- and would prefer to be a little ahead of my game before those hours begin. I am praying they will work with me on hours until my school is over - Just because the store will be open until midnight in the week doesn't mean I can be there that late! Oh, and a local out-door shopping district will be open at MIDNIGHT on Black Friday - Midnight! Because 4 am wasn't early enough?! What is wrong with people? I'm definitely not looking forward to working Black Friday as I know I will have to but Jon will be too so at least he won't be enjoying a day off either haha On the plus side, after putting some away for our taxes at the end of the year I can use my bonus towards getting some furniture for the house at a good discount! Yay! :o) - That is, if I survive long enough LOL

1 step forward, 2 steps back

Good news first: Jon got a letter from the KCPD advising he is in the eligibility pool for the next academy class! They are not yet sure of the date (so it probably won't be November, awww) but they'll call him when they secure a date and go from there. Very exciting!

Bad news: I 'just so happen' to go to a Pampered Chef party today hosted by my first college roommate. Well it's been a very long time since we all truly caught up and she, our other roommate and her best friend, and I were talking and I mentioned where I was looking at going for the program. It took about half a second for them to tell me not to go there! Well I had forgotten they are admission reps for another career college in the area and they know lot more about stuff like this than I do. For instance, accredidation - apparently the school I was looking at is not accredited itself which means even if the program is, I won't be able to take those classes and move up in degrees (BSN, NP) without repeating classes. It makes sense that an accreditted school won't take courses from a non-accreditted school but I had no idea the school itself wasn't accredited!

So long story kinda short, my 'plan B' is now no longer a plan at all. Now I have to contact them Monday and cancel all the appointments I had lined up though at least now I don't have to worry about making up graduation/high school documents to prove myself to corporate (which was a big flag in itself). The silver lining to this, though, is the school my friends are reps for is actually opening their own BSN program in the spring and since I have connections I will know immediately when enrollment starts! I am determined for this to work somehow, somewhere. I know I'm supposed to be a nurse and apparently I'm going to appreciate my journey there greatly being as I'm having so many bumps along the way.

*sigh*

Step by Step

Unfortunately not too much has happened since my last post but we're certainly growing in our patience and trust. Which I suppose is an important thing :o)

I'm making it step by step in school, one test at a time, one assignment at a time. Sometimes several at a time haha Doing surprisingly well in both and I'm so very grateful. I appreciate my husband being willing to lose time with me as I bury my head in books, the computer, and flash cards. After being put on Jewell's waiting list for the program in May I took a step back and realized not only had I been foolish in putting "all my eggs in one basket" as it were but I'd been making a BIG assumption regarding God's will.... I have no doubt that nursing is the track I should be on but I hadn't really taken much time to consider where to obtain that education. Well, I had but I also wanted to take the most efficient path possible which primarily left Jewell. I had a friend at my last university who went onto a one-year program (like I wanted) and loved the school. She's in the middle of that program now but I disregarded her opinion about the school and her suggestion to apply. I wanted to go back to Jewell, for the prestige and the solid reputation that comes with very good training. However, when I took a step back I realized Jewell was not necessarily the best place for me. I earned my first bachelors there but would it really be a good idea to go backwards to go forwards? There is perhaps too much 'bagage' at Jewell. So I applied and tested for my friend's school, Concorde, and stepped back knowing that I have explored more options and can sit back and wait. The testing there went better than at Jewell and I have one more interview to go but it's a 99% sure thing which feels good. That program would begin March 23rd, so a bit earlier than Jewell, and wouldn't be quite as stressful as it would be an associates rather than another bachelors. It will be easy to bridge to achieve the bachelors once I am working and the hospital will pay! I don't imagine everything will be completely official until after Christmas but I have complete peace that things will work out.

Meanwhile, we'd been wondering where Jon's call was from the police department for his last interview. He finally got a phone call at the end of September to schedule the oral boards with the commissioners! That was October 9th and it went very well. We're back to waiting but there is a small glimmer of hope there will be an Academy beginning next month but it's a fairly slim chance.... Thanks to the hiring freeze it will probably not be until spring, sometime around March (ironically) but it was a HUGE load off to know he is still being considered and a fair amount of confidence that at the very least we'll know one way or the other by the end of this month Jon's fate as it were.

We seem to be spending the second part of this year in a semi-permanent flux. I'm just eternally grateful to be experiencing it with my best friend. What better support system and shoulder to lean on than your spouse? As much as neither of us particularly like this whole experience it has definitely taught us who we're supposed to be relying on, reminding us we have very little control, and a time to grow in our own relationship. It is amazing to realize that as much as you want your own dream to come true, you would be willing to give it up for your spouse's dream to come true instead. Hopefully, both our dreams will come true and we will be able to celebrate together as our paths change together. Either way, no matter what happens, I know this will have been an experience we will continue to grow from and learn from for quite some time.

Jewell's Wait list.....God's Waiting Room

I received my letter today. While it was not the worst it wasn't the best either. 3 options: accepted, wait list, or declined. Apparently I'm just shy of being good enough to out-right accept; I am officially on the wait list for the program which begins in May '09. Of course at first I was completely crushed, upset....then I just felt numb and empty. I'm amused a little at myself saying only days ago that regardless of the outcome I just wanted to know... Now I think the not-knowing was better. I could at least live in the fantasy that I would indeed be accepted. Deep down I was scared and afraid I wouldn't get in. I knew that was a very real possibility but yet a part of me refused to believe it until it happened. Apparently, though, the wait list is quite fluid and changes quickly. Thing is, I have to wait until someone decides to drop out, decides they aren't ready or something happens in their lives that they have to put off participating for now. My happiness depends on someone else's tragedy in a way.... The thing that comes to mind as a comparison is the families who are waiting for a transplant... A far cry I know but still, you want to live or your loved one to live and yet you know your livelihood depends on someone else's demise. Part of me is afraid that should I officially be accepted the happiness will be tainted knowing that I was not only not "first choice" (am i in a draft now?) and that I'm in because someone else's life changed so dramatically that they couldn't pursue their own dream.

Ultimately I have no doubt this is God's way of telling me I have to learn to let go and stop holding on for dear life to every thing I want, to every plan I make, and to every great idea I have for my life. Jon has had his KCPD dreams put on hold as the department has been put on a hiring freeze and there won't be Academy possibilities until next Spring. We were definitely counting on that one far too much and far too early. Similarly we had everything all planned out with my program. He'd finish his training before I started my program, we'd both have good solid jobs by our 4th anniversary and ta-da! Life would be as it should. Mmmhmm. I have no doubt things will indeed work out (ok a little doubt) and we will most likely both get what we have dreamed for and wanted so much. It's that whole "in HIS time" thing that gets ya in the end. It's not until it's too late that you realize you haven't let go...you haven't given control to the One who has it all in His hands in the first place. We can only do so much to control our own lives. While we can't just sit and wait for something wonderful to be dropped on our doorstep (like for instance Ed McMann) we also have to realize when we've done all we can to achieve our goal and then wait. Patience and waiting are definitely 2 of the most challenging attributes in which to grow. I'm continually realizing we have no right to even try to control our lives in the way we want. We are not the directors of our lives like we were positioning people on a stage.

I must submit, I must give over control, and I must learn to wait. And so I am waiting....and listening for that still small voice......

Patience....

Can I just say having to be patient really stinks? It's been nearly 2 weeks since my last interview with Jewell and I've yet to receive my letter regarding either my acceptance or, well, non-acceptance. It's like when you're a senior in HS and you rush home from school everyday to see if the letter from your top school is in the mail. Except I'm rushing home from work praying my letter from my ONLY school is in the mail. Talk about putting all my eggs in one basket huh? Thing is Jewell has the only program that's only 1 year. I'm just not sure how I feel about taking 2 years to finish a program because that means 2 years worth of loans. That's extremely uncool.

Pray for the letter to come..... regardless of what it says I just need to know.... If I get in I can celebrate and focus on my current classes. If it's bad I can at least start re-adjusting my plan and see what my options are before it's too late to apply elsewhere if that's what we decide to do. Whatever you do, don't pray for more patience - I don't think I can handle it! :-)

Classes and such

I'm officially back in school, yay lol My pathophysiology (online) started last week but I haven't had much of a chance to delve into it just yet. Last weekend was mostly spent doing filming for a friend's indy film - really fun but very long day! I just finished my 2nd Microbiology class and think it's not going to be too bad but will also take a lot of discipline to study. I'm currently kicking myself for going to National American University at all because I have little doubt my GPA would be much better right now if I'd just gone to Maple Woods. Boo. Ah well - Hopefully that part doesn't penalize me too much in my quest for Jewell's program. Still haven't heard about that but they're sending letters this week so who knows...maybe sometime next week I'll know my fate for the next 2 years and believe me I'll let everyone know (at least if it's good news...if not I'm not quite sure what I'll do...)

Pics!

Hey Everyone! I updated my former vacation posts with the pictures I promised :-)

Progress

I've officially completed the last step of my application process for the Jewell AT-BSN (accelerated track Bachelors of Science in Nursing). While it feels good to not just be waiting and twiddling my thumbs to get everything finished it's also a little odd to know it's officially and entirely out of my hands at this point. It's always been partly out of my hands - I want to be in God's will more than anything - but a small part of it was in my hands since I still had tests and interviews left to be done. Now...it's in Jewell's hands...And hopefully God is leading them in a preferable direction ha!

My on-line class began yesterday and my "in-person" class begins Tuesday. Pathophysiology online and Microbiology w/ lab in person. While I'm excited to be back in class, learning, and being challenged, it's been SO nice to not have homework to do nearly every night and be able to indulge in other things. I know it will be worth it in the long run - I just hope I can learn to manage my time better this term. I need to have that as close to down to a science as I can before the program! :-)

Boredom + stress = ?

Hey all, Jon writing for once. I'll try to note when it's me, so we can keep the confusion to a minimum. I'm at work, and as usual, we're dead. When you're paid $5 per hour and the bulk of your paycheck comes from commission, this is not a good thing. We're in way over our heads financially lately, and every day that goes by when I don't sell poop tends to wear on me a bit. I tend to be very segmented by nature- it takes quite a bit for me to stress over something, or to get unnerved in any way. This is doing it. I'm still waiting to hear about my Police Department application status; I'm on the last step of the process, and still waiting. And for the love of Pete, if people don't quit asking me "Have you heard anything?", I may have to bonk someone over the head with something that won't cause permanent damage. I'll freaking tell you when I know something, dangit. But, we're still alive. We may have an empty bank account and debt to our ears, but we're alive, and we'll climb out of it. I'm not sure how just yet, but I have a wife who's very good with money and a fairly full closet, so hopefully I won't need to buy any more clothes for awhile. The bad thing about retail consulting is that you have to look good all the time. For me, that can sometimes be hard work...or just expensive work. Some guys can throw on a $200 suit and pull it off. I can't. Not fair. Out!

Back to Reality

We made great timing coming back from the Springs yesterday which means I got to get my puppy back last night and relax a little before hitting the "rat-race" again this morning. I am very glad I told work I'd be in late to give myself a little more time this morning to get in the swing of things. Wish I had this extra time every morning! hehe

Our Last Day

Today we got to spend the morning sleeping in and being lazy, yay :-) We saw Jason & Hollie for lunch in downtown; really great pizza place we'll have to re-visit! It was very good to see and visit with just them as last year it was us plus all the kiddos (much more quiet this time ha!)



After that we spent time with the nephews and then the parents. Went out for dinner with the parents to a great local Mexican restaurant and then visited a little at home before saying our final goodbyes.

We saw the nephews again and everyone got hugs and even some rides from Uncle Jon
:)









We had wanted to go to a Rockie's game but that was a) kinda far away and b) expensive SO we settled for a Sky Sox game instead. Supporting the local minor league :)It was going well for the first couple of innings and then it started raining-really raining! So we decided as fun as it was it wasn't worth getting drenched! Here's a pic before the inevitable downpour



It has been a great week and I'm a little sad to see it end but it will feel good to return to my KC home, my own house, even our manic puppy Layla ha It is good to be able to return to those who helped shape who I am today, those who have been in my life during formative years. There is also the realization that there are so many in KC who have helped to shape my "adult" years since I moved there. It is easy to forget how important those people, and their influences, are in my life. As much as I miss the Springs, I am slowly realizing I would truly miss KC, perhaps even just as much albeit in a different way, should we return to CO permanently. Until then, KC, here we come.

The Rocky Mountains

Yesterday was our adventure day :-) It's been way too long since I've been through our mountains and Jon really never has so we decided that was the perfect adventure to have.

We drove through Denver (stopping to have lunch at Landry's, SO good) toward Estes Park. We stopped along the way to do a bit of trail hiking and then back on the road. From Estes we headed to The Rocky Mountain National Park. We took our time, stopping to take pictures and admire the scenery. (pictures to come later) We decided to take a different route home, going through Winter Park and then back through Denver. It was definitely a full day but it was worth it ~ That's the kind of stuff you only experience in the great state of Colorado! Again, some of our favorite pics~
















Amazing views and an important reminder of all the beauty and wonder God has created for us!

More food, friends & family

I'm realizing as I type this the main thread through all our trip and posts are food. Hmm... better hit the gym when we get home! :-p

We got to have lunch with just my brother today which was nice - Always nice to get more time with him without the kiddos climbing us haha From there I got to spend the afternoon with Tara - This was a great treat as she is one of 2 people I have been best friends with since Jr High - That was a loooooong time ago! She just had her first baby in April and this was the first time to meet Ian. It was a great time to be a part of her mommy experience for a short time. We went to Chapel Hills, the mall we frequented as kids, walked around, got Orange Julius' like when we were kids, and even went into Claire's to look at cheap jewelry and giggle at the teen girls in there who reminded us of ourselves 10 years ago. :-)

Meanwhile Jon tooled around the Springs, going into some stores, napping, and generally having some chill time - Very cool husband to let me disappear for an entire afternoon!

Tonight we met with my parents and god-parents, Rick & Kathy Kite, for dinner. It would not be a complete trip without seeing the Kites (we'll see her daughter & family Saturday!). They are indeed my 2nd set of parents and I treasure the amazing yet rare relationship we've always had with them. We were at dinner a good 2 hours and I'm so glad we had that time together. Yay family :-)

Nephews, Animals & Family Time

Jon's been battling altitude-sickness since Tuesday so it's good we didn't have much carved in stone for the trip-enjoying the trip is more important than cramming as much in as possible!

We laid low most of yesterday and then went to see the nephews around lunch time. After that it was nearing nap time so we decided to use some coupons my mom had to go to the zoo. It was fun although we got sprinkled on a bit it was worth it. We saw almost everything and got some exercise to boot! Here are some of our favorite pics from the zoo~









Last night Jon got hit with the worst of the altitude sickness and instead of the planned outing with Dad to go to Bible study, he ended up back at my parents house curled up asleep in the lay-z-boy. Again, glad plans are flexible! I had planned to visit with Stacie, a dear friend, to have dinner & catch up with life. Since my Mom was playing nurse for Jon and there was nothing anyone could do but let him sleep, and he was quite understanding about my girly-date I was still able to visit with Stacie for a bit.

Fortunately this morning Jon was feeling better. Yay! We met my Dad for lunch at Noodle & Co. - we don't have one in MO so I'm always glad to go when we're back here. We tried to go see The Dark Knight afterwards but the times for the IMAX showing changed from yesterday when I looked.... :-( So Jon & my Dad went to the shooting range and I hung out with Mom and saw a family friend to kill time before the next showing. We went back and saw the later showing-very good, very intense, definitely will end up buying it and watching it over and over.... :-) Got pizza with Dad afterwards and then it was chill-time, which is always a good thing on vacation.

With the trip half-way over I'm already getting a little sad about going home but am doing my best to focus instead on all the wonderful things yet to come this trip! :-)

Family Time

*Disclaimer* If you are in CO and I haven't let you know so we can get together I am VERY sorry but we only have a few days here so it's impossible to see everyone we may want to see. Don't take it personally, hopefully the next time around it will be easier to see more people :-)

We are officially in CO - Began driving Sunday after church ( and after we finally packed! ) and stopped half way in Hays, KS. On the way we took a "side-trip" to Wilson's Lake. Several miles off the highway we found it and it was very pretty although we thought we'd never find it!






Finished our drive in yesterday, getting here shortly before 1pm. Yesterday was also my Dad's birthday so we had a celebratory dinner at my bro's house with the parents, his wife Melissa, and the two rug-rats, Jonah & Mason. They both, especially Jonah, attacked Jon and spent most of the night hanging off him wanting to play play play haha








We got left-overs to take back to our hotel room (yay mini-fridge) but I'm not sure when we'll eat them!The matress however is hard as a rock! We hit up Walmart for a egg-cushion-thingy and it definitely helped, thank goodness! Unfortunately Jon isn't feelin' so hot so we're hoping it's just some weird allergy to the new environment and if it's a cold hope it goes away fast! No fun to be sick on vacation. We'll be hangin' out with the family again today so many more stories to share later I'm sure!

In the Beginning....

It seems we're officially joining the world of bloggers. Subject to peer-pressure? Maybe a little. Perhaps this will be an easier way to keep in touch with all our friends as life seems to be spreading us further apart.